Study 4 ways good people make bad first impressions

Study 4 ways good people make bad first impressionsStudy 4 ways good people make bad first impressionsWe know that managingur public self-image is critical to our careers, but too often the expectation of how we sound in our heads does not meet reality.A new study in theSocial and Personality Psychology Compass foundthat our biggest enemy in making a good impression is ourselves. We talk about our accomplishments and skills, not realizing that our attempt to give a favorable impression is backfiring. Instead of sounding competent and on top of things, we sound like obnoxious braggarts.Researchers discovered that narcissism and a failure to account for the perspective of others werethe repeated threads in our self-sabotaging presentation tactics. The worst part is that many of us can make these mistakes without ever realizing whats making people back away.In oneexperiment, participants were asked to speculate on what other people thought about their success story. What the participant s thought went amazingly well, the bystanders were lukewarm on.How to explain the divide? Its all in the delivery. Where the participants wanted to play up how magical and unique their talent is, the people listening to the stories wanted the hard work stories participantstold them to be relatable. They enjoyed the storiesabout how much time and effort went into our success more than the ones wherewe said it all came to us naturally. Put another way, people would rather hear about your guts than your glory.What the testshowed is that we can fail to take the perspective of others, at expense to ourselves. Worse, we dont even realize were doing it, since at the time were too self-involved in our own stories. Here are four tactics to avoid so you dont come off as an arrogant jerk.1) HumblebraggingWe distributionspolitik such a high value on sincerity that we prefer outright braggers to humblebraggers, researchers found.Humblebraggers think talking about how they are such a hot mess who somehow managed to succeed makes them sound endearing. But disguising your accomplishments in a complaint or with humility makes you sound insincere everyone knows the punchline of your story is how amazing you are.Its better to not conceal your intent, because when we see through an anecdote to its agenda, we react more negatively.Perceived insincerity is so critical for actors interpartieal appeal that humblebragging is less effective than simply complaining or bragging, researchers said. That is, both complainers and straightforward braggers are regarded as more sincere and thus more likablethan humblebraggers.2) Backhanded complimentsBackhanded compliments appear fine on the surface until you hear the ulterior motives underneath. The example researchers gave was telling someone they are smart for an intern.You may think this sounds like a compliment, but recipients will hear it as a strategic put-down to remind them of their place and of your superior status.Known for being man ipulative, narcissists frequently deploy these compliments to maintain superiority in the workplace, unwilling or unable to account for the feelings and perspective of others.If you want to have a good laugh about this technique at its worst, read The Underminer The Best Friend Who Casually Ruins Your Life.The book shares the monologue of that terrible person who always asks, have you lost weight? You look so different SO much betterAs Lisa Zeidner once wrote of this technique, You cant escape this viper. Even if you sell all your belongings and move to New Zealand, youll bump into each other, get some fresh piece of bad news and be reminded of every failure in your past.No wonder people dont like this behavior.3) HypocrisyHypocrites can actually skate by in public settings, using their self-enhancing lies to get ahead in the workplace. But the jig is up when people notice that they cant back up what they boast.Researchers found that we will judge hypocrites more harshly than indivi duals who did the same behavior- because we detest lying so much. So think twice before you decide to exaggerate your previous role its very likely that no one is fooled - or fooled for long.How to avoid hypocrisy? Keep your word, and back up what you brag about.4) HubrisWe dont react well to success stories that depend on putting someone else down. In an experiment, researchers had observers listen to an actors self-aggrandizing claims.Statements that made social comparisons like I am a better person to be friends with than others turned us off more than non-comparisonclaims likeI am a good person to be friends with.This reaction is not because we believe in a fair and just world where everyone deserves equal treatment. Researchers believed that our reactions are a selfish, self-defense mechanism against the threat that the person with low opinions of others may have a low opinion of us.Observers disfavor the actor for self-protective purposesas they are threatened by the actors u nfavorable view of them or gloomy perspective on their future- a state that sparks antagonism or hostility, researchers said.

Survey 33% of bad office romances result in a termination

Survey 33% of bad office romances result in a terminationSurvey 33% of bad office romances result in a terminationA recent surveyfrom global outplacement and executive coaching firm Challenger, Gray Christmas, Inc., found that 70% of offices with rules about dating in the office dont permit manager-direct report relationships and 62% of HR leaders said their employer has had to manage a romantic relationship that was unsuccessful or inappropriate in the office. Of those, 33% leuchtdiode to at least one person involved getting fired.How MeToo has impacted office sexual harassment policiesWhile the survey of 150 HR leaders found that since the MeToo movement, just 34% said theyve reassessed their offices rules regarding sexual harassment, 63% said they havent because they are comfortable with their current policy, and 3% reported not having any guidelines at all regarding harassment in the workplace. Of those that have reassessed policies, 75% said they didnt update them.Andrew Challe nger, Vice President of Challenger, Gray Christmas, Inc., commented on the researchReal-life office romances are nowhere near as straightforward as they are portrayed on TV. The Offices Jim and Pam are outliers in the actual workplace. Unequal power, unclear boundaries, bad breakups, and office politics all have potentially career-ending and life-altering consequences for employees, which is why HR policy addressing relationships is crucial in protecting everyones best interests The best way to head off potential problems stemming from office romances is to create and communicate a policy with clear-cut guidelines for what employees need to do to communicate their relationships to their companies, and what will happen to their employment should the relationship end.Where employers stand on office romanceThe survey(which allowed respondents to respond to multiple answers) also found that 47% of HR leaders look down upon manager/subordinate and inter-department relationships, but do nt get involved with cross-department or ones with workers on the same corporate level.But, while 10% of HR leaders reported that their employers dont get involved in office relationships until something goes wrong, 33% say their office evaluates them on a case-by-case basis. Just 7% dont have a problem with any kind of office romance as long as the company is aware of it, and 17% said their company must be made aware of every relationship.More than half (56%) of those surveyed say they have a formal written policy on office romances that they go over with all workers, while on the other end of the spectrum, 3% say that they dont mind romances among employees.But when it comes to office romances, its wise to tread lightly - whether your employer has an official dating policy or not.

9 Articles to Read if Youre New to Your Job - The Muse

9 Articles to Read if Youre New to Your Job - The Muse9 Articles to Read if Youre New to Your JobBeing the newbie at work is always rough, despite it being something we all go through again and again throughout our careers. On top of learning the day-to-day requirements of your new position and trying to impress your boss, you also have to navigate the intricacies of office politics and making new work friends.Its a lot. And it probably feels a little bit like a whirlwind. So before you dive back into that tornado of newness, here are nine things to read thatll help you navigate this challenging (but temporary) stage in your career. 1. Your Guide to Your First Week on the JobThe perfect way to set yourself up for success if youre about to start that nerve-wracking first week.2. 3 Things Youre Overthinking at Your New Job (and 3 Things Youre Not Thinking About Enough)To help make sense of all of those nerves, here are a few things youre probably overthinking (and how to stop).3. Ask a Career Coach How Do I Make My fruchtfleisch When Im New at Work?We all want to make a great impression (and prove that we were the right choice) in the first few weeks after starting. Our resident career coach shares how to do just that.4. 3 Basic Mistakes You Cant Blame on the Fact That Youre the New PersonMaking mistakes because youre just starting is expected. But you cant really blame these three on being the new kid in town.5. Excuse Me, Silly Question Here- But What Exactly Is a 401K?Yes, you should be thinking of your savings starting from day one of that new job And yes, youre not the only adult out there who needs this refresher.6. How to Ask for Time Off at Your New Job (the Right Way)If youre too scared to put in a vacation request for that family wedding coming up (because you just got to this job What will your boss think?), thisll help curb those worries. 7. The 6 Unwritten Company Rules You Wont Find in the Employee HandbookNo matter how comprehensive your orientatio n is, there are just some things you wont learn about the job and culture in a handbook.8. 5 Impressive Things All Smart People Do When They abflug a New JobFind out how to use the 70/30 rule, as well as four other tricks, to establish yourself as the team all-star. 9. 4 Insane Thoughts Everyone Has When Starting a New Job (and How to Keep Your Crazy in Check)Finally, no matter how excited you are for a position, the first few days are rough. Heres what might be going through your head as you try to adjust.